Saturday, July 19, 2008

I believe it's one of the greatest movies ever made and a milestone in the history of kitsch. You got these 3 aging yentas - aging like in semi-decomposed - literally murdering ABBA's music. I LOVE ABBA and watching and listening to a 90-year old on steroids and in high heels belching 'Dancing Queen (she's only 17)'... holy geriatric mermaids!!! Meryl Streep should be so proud of herself, displaying the musical talent of an elephant and the dancing grace of a cow.

And, to everyone's delight, especially of those great parents taking their little daughter to this great show, there ARE lots of family values being promoted here. Let's enumerate some:

- Merryl Streep graphically showing how a power drill can easily replace a man's... you know what.
- One of the yentas, the ugliest one, grabbing a black kid (teenage?) and screaming in delight about it.
- Meryl's daughter has THREE dads, and loving it.
- On the last minute of her wedding ceremony, she and her to-be groom deciding that... marriage-shmarriage... forget about it... let's go on a cruise!!!
- Same daughter, approvingly telling her mom something like... "mother, I don't care if you banged hundreds of men, you're still my mommy".
- Meryl's daughter and her 2 teenage-like girlfriends reading the delightful page of her mother's diary, describing how she was banged by 3 different guys within the space of a night or 2.
- Another old, ugly yenta practically raping one of the middle-aged suspected daddies because, apparently, she was having an itch.
- The 3 yentas keeping themselves youthful and energetic by means of some home remedy made with donkey sperm.
- Defining fatherhood as the outcome of an ejaculation.
- One of the 3 possible daddies turning out to be a homo - we see his tattooed buttcheeks more than once - finding happiness and, apparently, a one-night stand at the same time Meryl's daughter happily decides that marriage is not something she should bother with.

I am so glad that this movie was made because it is a great thing at giving everyone the needed moral direction. All parents should be encouraged to take their kids and discuss the great message this great work of art.

Giving the powerful message this movie conveys, PC-13 is much too timid a rating. It suggest a G or maybe a K (as in 'kindergarten') so that all kids can develop a taste for sexual promiscuity, overall moral relativism and mindless hedonism at an early age because... it's never too early for kids to learn the facts of life from their very wise elders.

The movie is highly suited for a Blu-ray release because we need all the high visual resolution we can afford and the finest sound reproduction for this jewel of work of artistic accomplishment.

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